Who are we?

Published on August 10, 2004 By magpot In Philosophy

Who are we, really? Do you see yourself as an independent being, or are you the roles you play, friend, spouse, sibling? I can’t help but think that most of us are not as comfortable as we should be in our own skin. We buy into preconceived notions as to what we should look like. I will never be tall, skinny blonde. If I work really hard, I can be skinny. I can even be a blonde, although I don’t really have the coloring to pull off the hair color. But there is absolutely nothing I can do to be tall. I accepted that a long time ago. I have never had the correct body type either. When I was a teenager, Twiggy was the personification of beauty. She is reminiscent of a lot of today’s models and Paris Hilton has her body shape. Me? No way…busty and hippy all the way. Years ago I am sure I would have been considered good breeding stock. I accepted the fact that I would never be a tall, skinny blonde long before I accepted the fact that I have curves. Actually, I’m not sure I have ever accepted the fact that I have curves. If I had been born 120 years ago, I would be the envy of a lot of people, but it was not to be my fate. So I walk around in a body I hope no one notices…….yeah right.

This past year, though, I was given a gift. It was the gift of discovering who I really am. I learned that I am more than the outward appearances. When chemo caused my hair to fall out, I walk around without a wig. I did this, not so much because I was brave as many people seemed to believe, but because I was too hot under the wig. I also felt like a liar wearing the wig. At that point in my life I was bald. It was who I was, at least on the outside.

What about the inside? Well, I was the person I thought I was. I was strong and tough. I was able to handle what was thrown my way. The one thing I did learn about myself which came as a surprise was the fact that my faith was stronger than I had believed it to be. Imagine my surprise at realizing this. Feeling calm in the face of adversity is truly a wonderful gift.

I also learned that I have affected more people that I would have thought in life’s journey. People who where on the outside of my circle came forward and offered to take me to chemo or fix meals for my family. People who weren’t really phone friends called just to see how I was doing and if I needed anything. This was really touching to me since my best friend of 11 years had moved away less than 2 months before my diagnosis. I have always been happy in my own company, but to know I had people I could call on if need be was wonderful.

Who are we? We are a sum of our experiences. Do we realize this? Probably not; getting to know ourselves is something we do not value. And that is a shame.

Comments

archtct

on Aug 12, 2004

I agree with you. Our experiences define us and either make us better people or worse.

AndyBaker

on Aug 13, 2004

Our experiences define us and either make us better people or worse.

Not only our experiences, but I think our choices and our attitudes to situations make us better or worse people. As magpot's post demonstrated.

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